Midterms.........

The kids have been in public school for a little over a month, and I can't believe it is already midterms.  The time has gone fast and I feel good about how we are coming along.

I am grateful for the perspective I have gained from having homeschooled and now also public schooled the kids. It has been hard for me to figure out where I fit in with my homeschooling friends, now that I don't.  A few have made comments that I am no longer tired, stressed, exhausted, and so on as I once was as a homeschooling momma.  But, guess what???  I still am tired.  And stressed. And I do go to bed exhausted just like I did before. I may not be stressed about the same things as before, but trust me, this is hard too.

Rewind to last fall or so.  I was sitting outside at 3:15 while my kids rode their bikes and scooters.  Just taking a break.  School was done for the day and I had about an hour to chill before I needed to get dinner figured out.  I waved as minivan after minivan drove back and forth past my house as the public school mommas were picking their kids up from school and coming back home again.  I realized how my day is flip-flopped from theirs.  My day was super busy and hectic while we did school until just after lunch time.  But, it calmed down a bit as theirs was picking up.  They had to go get their kids, help with homework, get them to after school activities, AND get dinner done.  I did not envy their crazy afternoons and evenings.  We both were working hard to raise our kids and take care of our families.

My routine has changed a bit now.  Now, I have to get up no matter what, and get my kids off to school.  There is no more "Well, we're running late today.....".  We can't be 15 minutes late starting school anymore.  I have joined the line of cars taking and picking up my kids. Which I was always so happy I did NOT have to do as a homeschooler.  But, I am in two different carpools; one for junior high and one for elementary school so that has helped on the number of times I am in the car each day.  Audrey and Noah think it is spiffy to go to the school when it's our turn to drive.

 My housework must be done by the time the kids come home so I can give them 100% of my attention.  I have been getting dinner done and ready to put in the oven in the morning and that is helpful. Our weekends have been taken up by Sasha's assignments a time or two, which is different for us. (She has realized that junior high is harder than she thought it would be. Turning in assignments late is not a good idea.  Waiting until the last minute to finish reading a book for a book report is also not a good idea.  She has been working hard and continues to do better and better at juggling all her assignments. Waking up is NOT her favorite thing.  No surprise there!).  She has her first band concert this month and we are all so excited.  We LOVE having a flute player in the house!  It is so pretty and soothing.  She has a natural gift for that as well as piano.

Addie isn't crying anymore because she misses me.  That was breaking my heart.  Now she cries because she hates having a test each Friday.  That girl!!  But, her name gets drawn regularly from the Treasure Box on Fridays so that seems to help with the whole test issue.  She compares herself to her peers and that is hard if she doesn't get as many right as someone else did. I have been helping in her class every other Monday and I love it.  She LOVES school lunch and is the only one that eats it everyday. I love picking her up on Fridays because her class comes outside to play some kind of game until the bell rings.  Watching her run and scream and play with her friends makes me so happy and fills me with a joy I can't explain. She jumps in the car, so happy to see me, chatting up a storm about this and that.  She gets her homework done in record time each day; I never have to remind her to get it done.

Seth has struggled with his emotions, which is nothing new for him.  He is no longer at home where things he does and says are a little more tolerated by his family.  Being around his peers and his teacher is giving him the much needed environment to help him control himself when he gets frustrated.  We have had some very hard days, and we both have cried more than once.  Him at school, and me here at home.  But, his teacher is wonderful and the principal is too.  Between the three of us, I am certain Seth will continue to do better and better. I am also helping in his class every other Monday to help with reading groups and I think it has been helpful to be there.  I like knowing his classmates and his teacher better.  (Oh, and 4th grade boys can make a variety of weird noises, just so you know).

It has been a hard adjustment for us and I knew it would be.  I knew the first few weeks would start off ok, and then the challenges would set in.  And they have.  I am grateful for prayer.  I have gotten on my knees more regularly and with more sincerity than I have in the past few years when we were homeschooling.  We are looking forward to Fall Recess next week.  We will be in our jammies, watching cartoons and eating junk if you need to reach us. ;)

Carry on............

Family Pictures 2013

Getting family pictures done is exhausting!  BUT, we are always so glad we did it!  We have had family pictures done EACH and every year since Will and I got married.  Some had been when I have been very pregnant, or just had a baby and didn't feel like I looked that great but we did it anyway.  We never like the way we look in pictures, do we?  I always say to myself, "Is THAT how I really look????? Oh, no!!!".  But, oh well.  I want my kids to see what we ALL looked like as the years have gone by.  So, yes I have picked myself apart in all the ones I am in and posted them anyways.  Well, I posted most of them.....Enjoy. (And thanks to a dear friend that has taken these for us the past two years.  She rocks.)

 Here are some of my favorites.......

 Heartbreaker Alert!!!

 He looks like he is about to go find some trouble.......

 Audrey would NOT stop posing!  She has NEVER done that!  EVER!  It was so funny!!

 Love her crinkled-up nose in this one....

So pretty....the background AND Sasha

 I love this one of my spunky Addie-Boo!

Where's Noah???

 I LOVE her beautiful skin......

 Love my Sasha Belle.....

 Noah was all done at this point.....

 14 years and counting...........

This one makes me smile. :)

Summer of 2013, Part 1

This was a strange summer for us, for SURE.  It went by so fast, and almost the entire family got sick during the month of July. DUMB!  We WON'T be doing that EVER again.  Gee whiz!!  Here are some pictures from my phone of some things we did do this summer..........

 Sasha and Addie had a dance recital.....always a highlight of our summer.  (Addie HATED this costume.  It was so very itchy and was so tight, I had to alter it.  Poor kid.  But she does look super cute in it!)

 We played baseball or softball every single night for about 6 weeks.  It was a good season, and not so good season.  I don't know if the kids will play or if Will is going to coach next year.  That is all I want to say about it.  :(

 Beautiful Sasha had a wonderful piano recital and we were so proud of her.  Playing seems to come naturally to her.  She has a soft touch on the piano and is lovely to listen to! :) Seth and Addie started lessons this summer and they seem to enjoy it. :)

 We got this to play with at Bear Lake.  We planned on staying for at least 4 days, but Addie got sick and we ended up cutting our trip short.  Camping in a tent with 7 people is nuts and I am not sure we will do it EVER again.  (Me and my big ideas.  My family things I am crazy.)

 I made 24 of these tote bags for girls camp, which took place at the end of July.  It was an amazing experience.  It was huge undertaking and dominated by thoughts for months and months!  When I got back, I felt weird to NOT be thinking about it or making something for it!! I am so glad I got to go with Sasha, even though she got sick up there and didn't have the best time.  We stayed up so late!  We played games!  We ate junk!  We floated down the Portnef River!  We crafted! It was glorious!  I LOVE being with the YW and hope I can go to camp again!   It was so fun since the girls I had as Beehives are now Laurels, so this was their last girl's camp.  It was a blast!

 Noah spent his summer playing with the hose.....it was a long hot summer so he enjoyed himself immensely.  We learned to not get too close to him while he had the hose, or you'd get a little wet.  Ha ha!

 So very glad we have this pool.  Whoever wasn't sick, swam in the pool!  Having a pool has always given us something to do, right in our own backyard!  This pool finally bit the dust; it had several holes and was leaking big time.  SO, we found a BIGGER one on clearance and filled that bad boy UP right away.  I think I swam nearly every day.  Which is probably why my hair is fried from the chemicals and sun.  It was worth it.

 The girls were in 2 parades!  It was a new experience for both of them and they loved it!!!  Addie rode the float, and Sasha danced with the older girls.  It. Was. Beyond. HOT!!  We were so proud of them for wanting to do it on the July 4th, after they were in the Syracuse parade and nearly melted from heat.  I have many fond memories of being in parades as a girl.  Nothing better that feeling the excitement of the crowd as you march past.  Ah, good times.

And lastly, here are Noah and Audrey at the park with me one day after the kids went back to school.  It has been nice to be able to focus on them during the day. Taking them to the park was something I could not do as a homeschooling mom.  Mornings were for school.  Naps in the afternoon.  Dinner and activities in the evening.  This picture makes me smile and although it has been a hard transition in some ways having the kids attend public school, I know it is right for our family. Anyway, goodbye Summer of 2013!  It was a party!

1 Week Down....

We made it through our first week of public school.

Sasha:

She loves it and is doing well.  She has gotten 100% on all her assignments so far and that makes us all so happy!  We had some technical difficulties with our computer last night as we tried to watch a power point lesson her math teacher had.  It was so frustrating.  BUT, we loaded up and went to the library and she was able to watch and listen to it and answer the 4 stinkin' questions.  Noah knocked over a fake tree while there and Audrey jumped on every couch in the place.  I needed back up but Will was with Seth at his martial arts class. Anyhow, so far Sasha loves it!  I knew she would!!

Seth:

Hates being timed on math facts.  Ya, he has never liked that. He gets so stressed.  He cried at school. I hugged him and loved him and prayed with him the next day before school.  He has had better days since then.  This is good for him to learn to handle his emotions.  Hard, but good for him.  He finally got in to a martial arts class taught by a member of our Stake Presidency. He's been on the waiting list for a year! HOW good it's been for him to go twice a week.  The 2nd day of school was rough for him and I was so glad he could go to his class that evening.  He broke a board on the first try and Will said he was so happy! None of the other kids did that on the first try. I think Seth will be like his Daddy and be a black belt too.


Addie:

LOVES school lunch and must read the menu over and over.  So funny!!  She loves all her friends and has a crush on a boy already.  And this said boy found out about her crush so Addie cried about it last night and today.  Good grief that girl. She has never been a fan of writing and gets mad that she has 2 pages of homework at night and has to "Waste 4 hours of the night doing homework!!".  Ya, she's emotional. And she exaggerates.

It has been a good week as I have spent time with my little ones playing at the park and just hanging out with them.  I have crafted with a friend for a Relief Society activity I am helping her with; something I could not do before. I helped organize a neighborhood park day and had such nice time chatting with other moms.  I have missed that so much.

My afternoons\evenings have been more busy that I am used to but I am adjusting.  Adding homework to the mix is something we have not had in our lives for 5 years.  Their are pros and cons to each situation.  Homeschool had wonderful things and not so wonderful things.  Same with public school.  No situation is 100% perfect.  We still feel good about our decision to send all the kids and I have been so touched by the love and support shown by our neighborhood.  An older boy in our neighborhood has gone out of his way to give Seth a high-five when he sees him at school.  A 6th grader saying "Hi" to a 4th grader.  Ya, makes me so happy.  After school yesterday Seth was coming to the car, stopped, ran back and said "Goodbye" to this boy. (Thank you, Sarah).  It was so cute.

So, we made it!  I know more time will be needed to adjust but we will be ok.  All is well.

What a NUT!!

We all love Seth's laugh.  When he laughs, it is a full-belly-gonna-join-in-too kind of laugh.  He has been making videos with his sisters and they are all full of Seth and all his silliness.  He has an alter-ego who he has named "Jeek Porkins".  Don't ask how he came up with that name, but they all have a blast coming with funny situations for Jeek. Jeek isn't the smartest tool in the shed and loves root beer and chicken a whole bunch. Seth makes up silly dances for Jeek to preform and they are pretty darn funny. If Seth is having a hard time, I just start calling him "Jeek" using the "Jeek" voice, start doing one of the Jeek Dances and all is well.

I love seeing this creative side of my Sethy and love hearing him laugh with his sisters even more.  But if it's past bedtime, Jeek needs to QUIET DOWN!  Geez.

A little bit of everything...

I haven't uploaded pictures for awhile. So, here's a little bit of everything.....

 Love this girl.  She is a joy to be around even if she loves to stay up until midnight and sleep in late. She is gonna DIE in the fall when school starts.

 SHE is SMILING at the camera.  She NEVER does that.  What a little stinker.

 A couple of watering cans from the dollar store will provide hours of fun for these two. The water spout is the place to be....MOVE OVER!!

 "Wook, Mom!!"....and then he picks another flower for me.  ***sigh***I hope my garden makes it this year........

 Audrey Anne, wearing Addie's old dress at Addie's baptism.....

 Getting ready to head to the church....such a very special day.......

It was a beautiful baptism.

Halfway Done....

Their season is about halfway done.  The first few games have been SO cold, and rainy, and windy.  Utah weather never ceases to surprise us.  We have had days where the sun was out and then suddenly, right before game time, yucky weather sets in. But,the kids have played through it all while those of us watching the game, hid under blankets and umbrellas.

Here are a few shots of our players this year:

This one makes me giggle.  What a pose.

So Very Sweet...

I get kinda spoiled during the month of May.  First it's Mother's Day and then within a week or so, it's my birthday.  LOVE that! Yes, May is a good month for me!

I must say that this Mother's Day and this birthday will be hard to forget.  It wasn't because of any particular gift that was given or anything like that.  I will explain............

Having my kids learn to love and serve has been important to me.  I look for opportunities for them to do these things.  Treats to their primary leaders on their birthdays or if they are sick. Notes to grandparents. Whatever I can think of.  I want them to see me serving.  "Hey wanna come with me to deliver this meal?". I want them to see me serving and loving with a happy heart, all with the hope that it will rub off on them and they will do the same.

Well, on Mother's Day this year, for the first time EVER, the kids all woke up early to make ME breakfast. They are NOT big fans of getting up early and Sunday mornings are often a little grouchy around our house.  We have a bunch of night owls, apparently.   It was really, really sweet and I was touched.  They put it on a tray and brought it to me as I was fixing my hair.  They helped keep the house tidy and cleaned up after meals. Hugs from Seth, who doesn't do that often. A card from Addie and many homemade necklaces as she sat behind the couch and made one after another for me.   I could tell they were trying to serve me and it made my day.

Then on Saturday, we were planning on having my mom over to celebrate both our birthdays since hers is three days after mine.  Sasha asked me to take her to the dollar store so she could get something for her grandma.  I was impressed that she thought of this on her own.  I always like a trip to the dollar store so off we went. She used her own money and picked out what she wanted to give her grandma.  A new mug, some lotion, and a treat.  When the time came to for grandma and I to open our gifts from each other, Sasha had a gift for me, as well.  She was totally sneaky and had gotten me a few things on our trip to the dollar store, too.  Again, I was touched.  What a sweet girl.

Today is my birthday and my kids have loved me and served me all day. I came to the kitchen this morning to see that Sasha woke up early and made me breakfast and then went back to sleep on the couch.  She is our total night owl so for her to have done this for me was impressive.  They tidied the house while I was gone getting my hair cut.We ate lunch at a favorite Chinese restaurant, and Seth did not utter one complaint despite the fact it is NOT his favorite place.  Sasha made me a cake and decorated it all on her own.  It fell apart as she tried to take it out of the pan so she could frost it, and she felt so bad!  But, we smothered it with frosting and it was quite delicious.

Sometimes I wonder if what I am doing as a mother is even working.  Are they learning?  Am I helping?  Seeing my kids love and serve me in their own way made my heart so happy. What a tender mercy.  It really was so very sweet. They REALLY do love me.....I'll try to remember that when they most likely groan tomorrow when I happily say, "Did you get your jobs done???".

And so it begins....

Baseball and Softball season is upon us.  Will is coaching Sasha's team AND Seth's team again this year.  I am his secretary and have only messed up a few times.  A last-minute change in time for one of the practices and I missed letting one....or maybe two girls know.  UGH.  Maybe I should fire myself. I AM trying. My mind has been on our new direction of not homeschooling for now, planning girl's camp, and getting my mom moved out of her house that sold in 2 days, and moved in with us. She is going to help me.....I have a list of projects to do while she stays with us until her new town home is done.  Yippeee!  Anyways.....back to baseball.....

Seth is playing 1st base and may be pitching for his team, The Houston Astros.  I will never tire of seeing those cute little boys in their uniforms out on the field.  Too cute. Seth is playing with the next age group, so he is no long the oldest and biggest kid on the team.  He has had a hard time connecting with the ball during batting practice and actually got mad at himself and sat in the truck for the last half of practice. Oh dear.

Sasha is playing 2nd base and also wants to try pitching for her team, The Bandits.  She is such a strong girl and has the ability to be a fabulous player.  We have been working with her each day on pitching.  I missed catching the ball and it totally bounced off my collarbone and hit my face.  But, I am ok. LOL.  There is no crying in baseball, right??

Addie isn't playing this year and is quite content getting snow cones during their practices and being the "Bat Girl", even though Seth would rather she not do that.  Brothers.

Audrey and Noah are content to run around and get into the recreation department's equipment during practice time.  A bucket of balls is too tempting.

Looking forward to a great season!  Let's PLAY BALL!!! We'll be at the baseball field every night of the week if you need us............ :)

Stopping Homeschooling.....An Honest Admission

This blog entry is by far the hardest one for me to write.  But here goes....

So much has changed in our house the last few months. Sasha let us know she wants to attend junior high, so we decided to send her. (She went to the band open house today and is going to play the flute.....Wahoo!!).

This past school year has been very hard for me.  The year before was hard, but this one has been worse.  I am not going to lie.  It is hard to admit when something is hard for you, that you aren't as "amazing" as everyone seems to think you are.  Audrey and Noah demand, and deserve more attention with each passing day it seems. I have found myself getting impatient with them as they get into things as we try to do school.  Lunchtime has come many times and I have realized that I have not played with my babies much at all since I was working with the other kids, who more and more don't seem to want to do their work.  Nagging on your kids over their school work, while trying to do housework, and take care of two wee ones is NOT fun. It is very draining, actually. I feel like my time with my littlest ones is slipping away.....

When we first started homeschooling, it was just Sasha. Now it is all three, and we have two little ones, and it is A LOT. It is hard.  It has me running all day, and drained at night.  Bottom line is I am not enjoying it like I used to.  Something needs to change.  The kids have felt it too, I am certain.  They have not seemed happy here at home, at least not like I had hoped.  Not all days are bad, don't get me wrong.  There are good things to be found in each day, but those "I-am-so-glad-I-homeschool" moments have been getting fewer and fewer.  Which is hard for me to say, trust me. I had visions of what I wanted our homeschool day to be.  I read books about what other moms do and how their day goes.  I can't be them.  I can't do what they do. I don't want to carry the weight of their education, all on my own anymore.  It is a heavy burden. I want some help with that!

My reasons for homeschooling are still in my heart.  I do think it has many wonderful benefits. I wanted it to work for at least a few more years with Seth and Addie, but we have decided to send them to public school in the fall.  I registered them today.  It was hard.

The past few weeks as I have worked through this have been tough and I have cried, thinking of all we have done, all we could have done, and what I can't do anymore. I know people will judge me. They will think what I am doing is wrong.  But, it is right for me.  It is right for our family. I want to be the best mom I can be, and for me, not homeschooling anymore is what I need to do.

I actually googled the phrase "Quitting Homeschooling" to see what I would find. I did find a few blogs with moms being very honest and sharing their experience.  I am grateful for them; for being willing to share with whoever comes along, their reasons why.  So, I hope my entry helps some other mom who needs to look at other options because homeschooling isn't working anymore. I hope she knows she isn't a quitter.  She is still a good mom and can still raise her children well.

I have learned so much in the past 5 or so years since we began homeschooling.  Don't judge another family by how they choose to educate their kids.  It is their choice.  We are all doing what we feel is best.  What works for one may not work for another, or it may work for a time, but not be right anymore.

We are doing our best to finish out the school year.........we are limping to the finish line!  I want to finish it out. And I also want to play with my kids in the summer sun. That sounds so very nice.

A Dress Just for Her...

My little Addie is getting baptized next week and she is so very excited!  She is exactly the middle child: two older siblings, two younger.  She wants to feel grown-up and special.  She wants to go to activity days, and art class and softball just like her older siblings do. She has had to wait until she was old enough to do some of these things, and that has been especially hard for her.  She tends to get overlooked sometimes, so Will and I try hard to make sure she knows she is special even though she isn't the oldest, or the baby of the family.  I decided I would make her baptism dress, something I did not do with Sasha.  I wanted it to be special; just for her!  She had told me she wanted a dress that was made from an old wedding dress from the DI.....but I came up with this instead.  She seems ok with it! :) I started working on it with plenty of time to spare and I am glad I did that.  It was a fun experience; not stressful and time-pressured.  The fabric was a new experience for me and a bit hard to work with, but I did it.  Yay me!  And just so you know, you can glue lace and stuff on dresses with the glue gun and it will work out just fine. ;)

I am so excited for her baptism. I can't believe how grown up she is. My sweet girl.....

To Junior High, She Will Go...

I did not see this coming.  I didn't expect to be sending Sasha to junior high; to high school, but not junior high.  But, the Lord had something else in mind.

I have felt like something wasn't right with our homeschooling for a few weeks, and I have felt very uneasy for days.  My prayers were pretty simple, "Help me. Something is wrong and I don't know what."

One day, it was warm so Sasha and I sat on the front porch and chatted while the other kids played.  She asked me a question about high school, which I answered. I asked her if she wanted to go to high school. She said she did. So then, I asked her if she wanted to attend junior high, not knowing why I was even asking her that since it was never our plan to send our kids to junior high.  She started to cry and said she did want to go. I immediately knew that this was right.  I felt the heaviness I had been feeling be lifted. It has been such a spiritual experience from me and I am so thankful for a loving Father in Heaven that knows what I need to do to raise these kids He gave to Will and I.  I knew I needed help, not sure exactly what, and He gave it.

She is registered for the fall.  She is beyond excited.  I am happy for her.  And nervous. I will miss her very much.  But, this is right. Off she goes. Love you so much, Sasha Belle.

Ode to My Joy

 How can you look at this picture and NOT smile??  Can you hear their laughter??  I can.  I hear it all day. I see their messes and mischief. They are little partners in crime, these two.

I try to sit down to play the piano, to practice Primary songs in case I ever get called to serve there, which the thought scares me out of my wits and keeps me up at night.  Anyway, I sit down and there come these two.  First they both slap the keys as I try to continue to play.  Then, they want to sit on me or by me. Then they kick me off the bench altogether.

I was thinking just this week that our home has changed now that they have joined our family.  It would be such a different place without them.  For the first time since we started having kids, I feel I am at my max. I can do no more. I can barely keep up. Having said that, we love these little ones that came to our family, one right after another.  They have brought us so much joy.  They have taught my older kids how to care for someone else and to put their needs ahead of their own.  They know how wonderful it is to hold a wee one and kiss their soft little cheeks.  They know that we all have to work together and that Mom can't do it all.  We have all learned so much and I am so glad.

But, enough of this sentimental stuff!!  I gotta go....Noah put some toys and other random items in the dishwasher so I better go fish them out......and start a load of laundry.....and get Audrey some milk in the PINK cup NOT the blue one....and.....on...and on I go........... But my joy IS full.

Addie is 8...isn't that great!!??

ADDIE TURNED 8 TODAY!

 

Up and ready to open her presents!  I love her morning hair!

 Sasha saved me once again and decorated her cake last night.  She did a fabulous job and Addie loved it!!

Holding her candle that I blinged up a bit with jewels.  You can never have too many jewels, right??

Holding her gifts from the family.  Another LaLaloopsy will now reside with us, and she got an Our Generation Doll from Target. (Looks like an American Girl Doll, doesn't it?? I LOVE those but not the price tag....dang!!)

Here is what the girls made at the party.  I got the containers at the dollar store as well as the rocks and other things they added to their gardens.  I made the toadstools from a batch of baker's clay I whipped up one night, then painted them.  They are my favorite!  They make the gardens look so cute, don't you agree??

 The girls were so cute, making their gardens.  They kept adding more and more rocks and jewels and it was just cute.  We sure have some cute girls in our neighborhood.  I am so glad they came!

Gotta share this gem of an idea from pinterest.  I strung these up with a needle and thread.  So much easier than crepe paper. That stuff drives me NUTS.

The books that our inspiration came from.  Addie got the pink one from Christmas and spent many a night in my bed, as we poured over each page, planning her party.  I will never forget that.  So precious.

 I loved sending the girls home with the fairy garden; it was different than what I usually do.They did get a small goody bag with a few pieces of candy, bubbles and a cute fairy poem I found in our flower fairy book.

It was a great day.  I am so happy to be Addie's mom.  She bring us joy and spunkiness we would miss without her. Happy Birthday, to our Little Lucky Boo.